


I’ve Got You

by MulderScullyShipper



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Cancer Arc, F/M, Mulder/Scully friendship, Post-Episode: s05e01-02 Redux, Redux II, Scully loses her shit, UST, hinted msr, post episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:14:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29756688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MulderScullyShipper/pseuds/MulderScullyShipper
Summary: After successfully beating her cancer, Scully needs a break.
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 1
Kudos: 50





	I’ve Got You

She sank her toes into the cool sand and tugged her oversized oatmeal coloured cardigan around her a little more in an attempt to stave off the cold evening sea breeze. Seagulls screamed overhead in the murky light as they searched out any scraps of food that the days visitors may have inadvertently left behind and fought with each other when they came across anything edible. It was getting dark and the beach was empty, with hardy walkers having long left the coastline for the warmth of their homes.

Dana Scully ignored it all. Thoughts whirled through her mind like a maelstrom and the wild waters of the Atlantic perfectly summed up how she felt. Waves crashed onto the shore forty feet away and any tears that fell, dried almost instantly in the breeze. The wind whipped her hair around her face, not that she noticed. She simply tucked the strands behind her ears absentmindedly and tried to come to terms with the events of the last few months.

Angry, slate coloured clouds hung low in the sky and it was only a matter of time before they released the fat rain drops that were buried within. She didn’t particularly care though. She needed to be beside the ocean so she could clear her head and cleanse her soul. Now the cancer was in remission, she could start living her life again, making plans, but first she needed to be here if she was ever going to come to terms with what had happened to her.

Her mother had worried and fussed when Dana had told her that she was going away for a week. She understood her mother’s concerns, of course she did, but her strength was back, she was still two weeks away from returning to work and she needed the space. Maggie, though meaning well, had been overbearing in the weeks since she’d left the hospital and Dana needed space so she could breathe.

Bill had had some choice words for her before he’d flown back to San Diego, telling her that she needed to reevaluate her life and re-examine her choices because the person she was choosing to walk this path with was going to get her killed. Dana had wanted to tell him that her choices were her own and that if he needed someone to blame for what had happened, he should blame her and nobody else. But she didn’t have the energy to fight, so he had gone away believing that her non-answer was an acceptance of his facts.

Then there was Mulder. He had agreed that she needed to get away, that she should take time to recover from her ordeal and try and make sense of her own personal miracle. He had even tried to persuade her that their crusade wasn’t worth it anymore. The consequences not worth the risks they were taking, but she had told him no, she would be returning to the X-Files, eventually, she just needed some time to recover. She knew he felt guilty after what Kritschgau had told them. He blamed himself for her illness but she hadn’t had the energy to tell him she didn’t believe that. She would never blame him for this, even if her brother did. Eventually, she would tell him.

Scully shivered in the cold wind as a raindrop hit her cheek, followed by another in her hair. Her eyes raised to the dark, tempestuous sky, then wrapped her arms around her middle again and walked down to the sea, letting the cold, wet sand work between her toes. The ocean was angry and turbulent, much like her emotions, crashing onto the sand, almost deafening in their volume and swept up across her bare feet, up to her ankles and soaking the bottom of her jeans. She didn’t care.

She breathed in deeply, feeling the air filling her lungs and her heart beating in her chest. Felt the almost painfully cold water washing over her skin like a baptism, renewing her vigour and giving her a sense of a fresh start. Felt the sand between her toes. Felt the pounding rain drops hitting her skin, soaking her hair and clothes and sending water running down her face in rivulets and whisking away her tears as soon as they left her eyes.

She was alive!

Tears continued to stream from her eyes and she felt the overwhelming need to lose control wash over her as though a wave had crashed over her head. Breathing heavily, her chest heaving with the fire she felt, Scully screamed into the wind, allowing months of pent up emotions to disappear into the wind. Fully aware that she looked insane, but not caring, she kicked at the water, sending it spraying into the air and over her as the wind blew it back. She screamed out her rage, screamed out the frustration that she felt at having been so helpless, finding it cathartic to exorcise the demons that resided in her head.

Sobbing and energy spent, she sank to her knees and dug her fingers into the fluid sand beneath the water, still not caring that the waves were flowing over her thighs and the almost torrential rain was washing over her and soaking her. It felt like a rebirth; she hadn’t been beaten and was coming back stronger, but still she sobbed and yelled out her anger, raging at the injustice of it all. She’d lost so much time to her fight, time she would never get back.

And then, all of a sudden, she wasn’t alone anymore. Someone sank down into the water next to her, sitting on the sand and a familiar pair of arms wrapped around her, but still she sobbed, taking huge gasps of air as she cried. Leaning into him, Scully grasped at Mulder’s elbow, allowing him to hold her tightly and ride out her personal storm with her. Her subconscious had told her that he would come to her eventually, despite not telling him where she was. She knew he would find her. He always did.

She felt his lips on her hair and she could just about hear him murmuring things, words of consolation, words that reassured her that she wasn’t alone and never would be. Words of love. He may not have come right out and said it, but she knew he loved her, just like she knew he was trying not to. She knew that he didn’t deem himself worthy of her in any sense. But yet, he was still here. He’d made the journey up to Maine, knowing that she would fall apart eventually and he needed to be with her to pick up her pieces and put her back together.

After a time, she didn’t know how long, her tears began to subside and her anger began to abate. She began to shiver, due to the loss of adrenaline and being soaked to the bone, which Mulder noticed almost immediately. Disentangling from her, he stood and helped her up and wasn’t at all surprised when her arms went around his waist to hug him tightly, like she had after Pfaster. He kissed the crown of her head and ran his hand over her dripping wet hair, hoping to convey some kind of comfort to her.

“I’ve got you,” he murmured, just loud enough for her to hear over the storm and that was all she needed to hear to know the truth and depth of his feelings. “Come on, we need to get you inside.”

Nodding, Scully allowed him to lead her back up the beach to the house and into the warmth. He sat her on the sofa and wrapped a blanket around her shoulders while he locked the doors and closed the curtains, blocking out the storm. Mulder rubbed his face before he turned back to look at her. Tears still fell from her eyes but she had calmed substantially. Her eyes were swollen from crying, her skin was pink from the cold and she was trembling but she still looked as beautiful as ever.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Mulder crossed the room to her and pulled the footstool over so he could sit in front of her. Reaching up, he rubbed her upper arms in an attempt to force some warmth into her. He had no idea how long she had been out there, but if _he_ was cold from the short time he was exposed to the elements, she must have been freezing.

“How did you find me?” Scully asked quietly, raising her eyes to look at him. Her voice was hoarse and raw from her screaming.

“If I told you, you’d kill me,” he replied, only half joking.

She huffed a laugh and shook her head. “The Gunmen.”

Mulder cleared his throat, confirming nothing, but he at least had the decency to look a little contrite. “Come on, we need to get you out of these wet clothes and warmed up.”

Scully nodded and let him lead her through to the bedroom. She sat on the small armchair in the corner and watched him move around the room, pulling out her warmest pyjamas from the dresser with a familiarity that didn’t surprise her and then going into the en suite bathroom to start the shower. He pulled the door partially closed behind him to keep the warmth in and returned to her, as she stood on shaky legs.

“Thank you,” she murmured, giving him a half smile as she glanced up at him. “I’ll um…” she gestured to the bathroom. “You should probably change too.”

Mulder looked down and saw that he too was soaked from the sea and rain. He hadn’t noticed, but he nodded anyway. “I’ll make you some tea.”

Scully half smiled again and squeezed his bicep lightly as she passed him, pausing only to grab her pyjamas and towel from the bed before disappearing into the bathroom and closing the door behind her. Mulder sighed deeply and left the room to go and make them both some hot tea. He disappeared into the second bedroom first and quickly changed into some dry clothes, sweatpants and a T-shirt, then went to make the tea as promised.

Unwashed dishes sat next to the sink, so he washed them and wiped over the worktops, needing to keep himself busy in an attempt to keep his thoughts from overwhelming him. After arriving at the beach house, Mulder had stood and watched her from the back porch, knowing that she was going to break down at some point and so he watched and he waited. He saw her finally lose it, saw her kicking at the water as though she could defeat it and when he saw her sink to the ground, that was when he made his move. If she was surprised he was there, she didn’t show it. He simply held her while she fell apart and raged against the universe for what had happened to her.

Mulder knew how close he had come to losing her, but losing her wasn’t an option. It never had been. He was nothing without her. She kept him honest and made him question everything, demand proof and not just willingly accept what he was shown. She was his true north, the star in the sky that guided him home when he was lost and he loved her for it. He wanted to tell her, open up to her and tell her that if it wasn’t for her, he’d probably be locked away in some psychiatric hospital, living out his days re-enacting One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest. But, she could do so much better than him. She deserved more than what he had. All he could offer was a lifetime of danger and conspiracy.

He pottered about the kitchen and living room, waiting for her to finish her shower and join him. He didn’t have too long to wait as she joined him in the living room twenty minutes later, looking much warmer in her thick pyjamas and bathrobe. Her skin which had been pink from the cold, was now flushed with the heat from the shower and she smiled gratefully at him when he spotted her.

“Hey,” he said as brightly as he could manage. “You feeling any better?”

She nodded and approached the kitchen counter. “Warmer,” she admitted. “I um… thank you. For looking after me.”

Mulder nodded and handed her a steaming mug of tea, then gestured to the living area. She smiled a little and sank into a corner of the sofa, tucking her feet up underneath her to get comfortable. Mulder sat at the opposite end and propped his feet on the coffee table and they sat in silence for a while, listening to the storm rage outside as they waited for the other to start speaking.

They didn’t do this, open up to one another. They preferred to deal with things themselves and not worry each other so this was foreign territory for them. It needed to stop though and it needed to stop now.

Mulder leant forward and set his mug on the table and sat back, trying to build up the courage to speak to her. As he opened his mouth to speak, Scully beat him to it.

“I’m okay, Mulder,” she began, she voice quiet and hesitant. “Really.”

Mulder nodded and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “You say that like I haven’t just picked you up out of the ocean.”

She flushed a little and averted her eyes. “I know, I just-”

“Hey,” he said, turning to face her, “I’m not judging,” he told her. “I know how you’re feeling.”

Scully nodded, knowing that he did know how she felt. He had lived every day of her diagnosis with her. “I was angry that I’d lost so much time. Angry that the people I love had their lives on hold too. I’ve spent the last few months holding it all together and trying to be strong and tonight it…” she sighed and sniffed, trying to fight back the onset of tears again. She didn’t want to cry anymore. “It was too much.”

“Scully, you know that you can talk to me, about any of this. You don’t have to pretend to be strong if you’re not feeling it, not with me. You know I’d never look at you any differently for admitting how you feel.”

“I know.” She nodded and dislodged a tear, which she quickly wiped away. “I just don’t want you to feel like you have to protect me.”

Mulder nodded in understanding and reached out to lay his hand on her forearm. Scully looked at it, warm through the layers of material and laid her hand over his as she raised her eyes to him. They smiled lightly at one another and then without any encouragement, Scully scooted along the sofa and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. Mulder exhaled slowly as he slipped his arms around her waist and pressed a kiss above her ear.

He felt the overwhelming need to open up his heart to her and let her know exactly what she meant to him, but he didn’t think that she would appreciate it. She was vulnerable and exhausted and the last thing she needed was him hitting on her like an awkward high school student. This wasn’t the time or the place for any confessions of the heart. He didn’t know when it would happen or how. He just knew that it would.

Scully pulled back from him, looked at him for a second and then looked away, before curling into his side and laying her head on his shoulder. She could feel the intensity between them, it was always there but tonight it was almost too much to bear. He had gone above and beyond for her tonight, not that she had expected anything less.

“Are you staying tonight?”

“Yeah… I’ll take the other room and I’ll drive back tomorrow.”

“You drove?”

He shrugged self consciously. “There were no flights.”

She bit her lip nervously before speaking again. “Well, I mean… you could always stay.”

“I thought you needed space from everything.”

She smiled at the humour in his tone at repeating her words back to her. “I did.” She glanced up at him. “But I’m glad you’re here.”

Mulder nodded and leant towards her so he could kiss her forehead, lingering slightly longer than he usually did. He had to fight the urge to spill the secrets of his soul to her, wanting nothing more than to finally tell her exactly what she meant to him. He suspected that she had an idea how he felt after driving for almost nine hours to come to her. She had to.

As they fell into silence, listening to the storm outside and disappearing into their own thoughts, they both knew that this thing that was growing between them, would have to come to a head eventually. It had to. It was only a matter of time before one of them gave into the feelings that they both harboured. For tonight though, they would take comfort in the knowledge that even when their lives were falling apart, they would always have each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I always wondered what happened straight after the events of Redux so this is my interpretation and thoughts. I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
